I’m drowning

When you think of the way it’s all going to end

It’s not this

Maybe something more peaceful

Something that doesn’t feel so powerless

I keep coming up for air

But I’m growing weaker and weaker

The water has its hold on me and I’m slowly giving in

As I fade in in out I hear your favorite song faintly in my head mixed with sounds of your laugh

As memories flash quickly

All good ones because the bad ones are not worth my final moments

A mini montage my mind has made before I go

Is there ever a time I’ve felt more helpless?

The process seems like it’d be quick right?

But the fighting is what drags it out

I’ve never been one to just give up

I think that’s what makes it so hard

So I wait

To drift off forever

Giving up seems like all that’s left

I hope you aren’t wherever I’m going next

Then I feel it

A strong pull on my arm

My body no longer feels heavy

I hear muted voices

One that says “he’s going to be okay”

I open my eyes and for the first time believe that is the truth

I’m no longer helpless

Sometimes I still hear your favorite song mixed with the sound of your laugh that I’ll never forget

And sometimes memories still flash quickly

Good ones because the bad ones will never be worth remembering

And I hope you are wherever I am going next

Because I am finally happy


Poem by: John Doe
Photograph by: Trevor Scott Penzone